Doctor Who: Only Human by Gareth Roberts

Author:Gareth Roberts
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: BBC Digital

EIGHT

The creature’s eyelids flicked rapidly. It was staring straight at the Doctor. No, not staring, he realised – it was squinting, as if its eyes were getting adjusted to the light. He thought of the tiny, gummed-up eyes of baby mice, and that gave him an idea as it asked again, ‘Are you humans?’

He pulled himself up to his full commanding height and replied in an equally commanding and disdainful tone, ‘Of course we are not humans.’

The creature continued squinting, viscous tears of concentration pouring from its eyeballs. ‘Are you sure?’

‘Of course I am sure,’ said the Doctor. He pointed to the Grey Door. ‘You are not ready. Return behind the door.’

‘But I’m still hungry,’ the creature wheedled. ‘Tina was nice, but not very filling.’ It pointed to Quilley. ‘That looks fat and tasty. Is it a pig?’

The Doctor shot a quick glance at Quilley, who was shaking with fear.

‘We are not humans or pigs,’ he said importantly. ‘We are superior. To humans and to you.’ He licked his lips. ‘We might eat you, since we’re hungry too.’

The creature started back towards the door and the Doctor began to relax. Then it whirled round. ‘Humans lie!’ it squawked. ‘You could be humans, and lying!’

Quilley whimpered. ‘Are you insane?’ he whispered to the Doctor.

‘Barmy, but this is one of my lucid moments,’ the Doctor whispered back.

The creature took a step forward. ‘Are you lying?’

The Doctor thought quickly. ‘Can a human do this?’ he asked proudly. The sonic screwdriver was still in his hand. He brought it up and activated it, pointing it at Quilley. Quilley’s hat spun off his head and onto the Doctor’s. ‘Humans cannot move a part of their head to another human, can they?’

The creature pondered, looking suspiciously between them, then at the hat, then finally at the sonic screwdriver. ‘What is that appendage?’ it demanded.

‘My silver hat-swapping finger,’ said the Doctor coolly. ‘You don’t have one, do you? Neither do humans.’ He levelled it at the creature threateningly. ‘Now, get back inside before I use it on you!’

The creature gave a little cry and then bolted back through the Grey Door.

The Doctor immediately leaped forward, slammed it shut and locked it with the sonic screwdriver. Then he turned, leaned on the door and beamed. ‘Not bad,’ he said. ‘Like any animal, it’ll only attack if it reckons you’re not a threat. I convinced it we were, so it stopped bothering. Good job it was a baby one.’

Quilley’s legs gave way and he sank to the floor. ‘But what was it? It’s like no animal I’ve seen.’ He coughed. ‘Plus taking specimens isn’t allowed.’

The Doctor popped the hat back on Quilley’s head. ‘That isn’t a specimen. And that creature never walked the earth. Someone here made that thing, using your technology. Genetic engineering. And who would have the initiative to do a thing like that, hide it away in its own metal womb with a supply of power to make it grow?’ He hauled Quilley up and said significantly, ‘Only someone who wasn’t popping the pills.

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